Becoming Who I was on the Inside
For over 20 years I’ve been a practicing Vegetarian while inside I felt a disconnection, since believe that as an animal lover I should reflect those beliefs by being fully Vegan.
It’s only in the last 18 months that I have been practicing Veganism and feel that I’ve really aligned my internal beliefs with my outward behaviour.
Maybe my story will illustrate what it means to become who you are inside.
As a small child living in the city I never associated the food on my plate with the animals I loved. That all changed abruptly when I was 8 years old, when a family friend brought chickens around for my Mum, live chickens. I was horrified watching them die and didn’t eat chicken for 2 years and eventually became a vegetarian in my 20s.
Why did it take me over 10 years to change my behaviour when I knew that day I would some day stop eating meat? Maybe you can relate…
I was apathetic, lazy and dissociated what I saw that day to what I continued to eat. As happens often, a single moment changed my thinking and then I changed my behaviour. It was this quote from my favourite Beatle, Paul McCartney:
“We were eating roast lamb for Sunday lunch and it was the lambing season and there were all these beautiful little lambs gambolling around.Then we just looked at the lamb on our plate and looked at them outside again and thought “We’re eating one of those little things that is gaily running around outside”. It just struck us, and we said “Wait a minute maybe we don’t want to do this”.
But I’m really a Vegan
After the transition to Vegetarianism, I knew that it wasn’t enough. The beliefs and practices of the Vegan lifestyle spoke to me – that’s who I really was inside. And while I was eating lots of vegan dishes, I was again too apathetic to fully give up milk, cheese & honey.
I thought it would be too hard to make the changes to align my beliefs and actions. During these times I was often frustrated, feeling that there was something misaligned within myself. I was consciously doing something that I knew wasn’t right for me. Maybe you can relate.
I’m not perfect and my own transition has taken years, decades, of self growth.
I feel at peace now that I observe a lifestyle that honours and respects my inner values. And looking back, I wish I had made the changes to become my true self sooner.